Does marriage ruin a relationship?
Some people ask this question considering that Christian Christian Matrimony rates are almost as high as non-Christian divorce rates. I would say no to that question. But I would question if the couple was prepared for marriage in the first place.
A lot of people enter the marriage relationship with their own jaded, unrealistic perceptions that marriage will be wonderful with no effort. I beg to differ.
Marriage takes work!
And if you’re not willing to put forth the effort, you could find yourself in divorce court.
I can’t understand why Christian marriages fail as much as non-Christian marriages.
I say this because we have access to Christian marriage basics and resources such as:
• A true and living God we can talk to on a consistent basis and get direction from. He also created marriage, He loves marriage, loves His people, wants marriages to work, and hates divorce.
• The Bible – which is the ultimate road map for experiencing a strong, healthy marriage relationship. It also includes Bible verses about marriage problems
• A ton of Bible based resources such as Christian marriage books, DVD’s, marriage conferences and other items to help us improve our marriages
• The Holy Spirit who will show us how to make the marriage work. But with all of these options, Christian marriages still fail at alarming rates.
Some causes of conflict in marriage include: adultery, money problems, a difference in goals; and others fail due to a lack of resilience.
The ultimate reason for divorce is due to selfishness on one or both parts.
Often, people just give up too quickly.
What about you? Do you ever feel like giving up on your marriage?
Oftentimes we struggle in marriage and tend to give up because we think our husbands should live to meet our needs. In fact, many women feel they deserve to get their needs met simply because they’re married.
Maybe you’re not happy with your husband or maybe you’re hurt and disgusted with him. Maybe you’re resentful because your husband’s actions continue to disappoint you.
But here are some questions for you:
1. Have you ever thought about what your husband really wanted from you or the marriage relationship?
2. Have you ever considered whether or not you’ve disappointed your husband?
3. Do your goals, dreams, and comfort take priority over your husband’s needs?
If you answered “Yes” to at least one or more of the previous questions, then you may suffer from “selfishness.”
I’m not saying that as wives we should expect nothing from our husbands. It’s important to have goals and realistic expectations for your marriage. But when you enter the marriage relationship, your ultimate goal as a Christian woman is to honor and worship God first. Then you should desire to honor your husband by giving him love and respect God says he deserves. Your husband should do the same, but ultimately only he can be responsible for doing this. You can’t make him. You can only be responsible for your behavior.